Homecoming

For those of you who have been living under a rock for that past... month, Homecoming is on Saturday and Homecoming fever is at its height. Symptoms include:
-Giggling
-Staring at the opposite sex
-Talking of nothing but shoes, dresses and plans for Homecoming
-Frequent glances at where they're selling homecoming tickets
-Idiocy
-Sudden change in appearance
-Fantasizing
-Obsessing over who's going with who, what they're doing and everything else possibly involving homecoming.

Now, this disease is not to be confused with lovesickness, which shares the symptoms of idiocy and fantasizing. However, the staring and obsession are always directed at one particular member of the opposite sex. Lovesickness has no cure, while Homecoming fever has one cure: Homecoming. Only after Homecoming will Homecoming fever go away. Lovesickness only goes away with time.

Ways to avoid contracting Homecoming fever are:
-Remember that Homecoming is just another school dance
-Be cynical
-Don't have school spirit.

Unfortunately, these don't always work. If you are afflicted with Homecoming fever, do not hesitate to seek the help of a therapist. Remain calm and lie down if you feel faint. Do not hyperventilate.

We hope that this information will be helpful to you.

WARNING: THIS POST CONTAINS 10 LINKING VERBS.