Boulder is so isolated. Since I've been back I haven't told really anyone but Lauren and Ian... It's been like three days of semi-solitude. I want to get a facebook and only "friend" people from Kansas. I had a dream that my friend Chris told me to look at his facebook page.
Yesterday Marit and I were pondering how the human soul finds secrecy and mystery appealing. Was it that way before the Fall? Or were man and woman so completely exposed to one another, and they liked it that way?
I don't like it when people leave. I don't want to graduate high school. I mean, yeah sure we have two years left so there's no need to worry, but it's going to go so fast. And I really like it. I never want my friendships to end. But sometimes things just have to change...
I just want to sit in the front seat of Matt's car, sing along as loud as I can to songs I know, and we'll drive east. Not for too long, mind you. But just long enough. It'll be our Matt'n'McKenzie adventure time.
Today is the perfect day to get out and do summer things. But so much stands in the way... Obligations, transportation, or simply differing opinions.
I want to stay in Kansas. People will never understand. I wish our hockey game had gone on for days. I would have even put up with some of the boys doing what they do if it only meant staying and giving them that foolish freedom.
I remember last year floating in the pool being told for the first time all about Kadesh, and now I'm going. It's so weird... Life is weird. I want to go back to Kansas.
Bekah would tell me that she'd have come back here this summer except why? There was nothing to come back to. What have I come back for? I love my life so much. But the closer I draw to Christ the more I feel like I could leave it. Which is a good thing, you know. But it's weird. I haven't even talked to some people in over a week...I've just been running VBS, or camping, or at Kamp, or at Mayhem.
The song "Cannons" is one of my new favorites, I think.
