"I hate life!"

"That's a strong statement."

"It's a strong feeling." 

As darkness falls...

I need to turn on a light.  Because it has grown dark.  Night has come.  

I really don't like night.  Night is only good for two things (and one is only occasionally a "good"): sleep, and going out.  Neither of which I'm doing now, therefore...

I feel like Sally: "I don't know- I was just jumping rope, and then all of a sudden it all seemed so futile."

I visited my tree today.  I went to my park, and I stopped by where my old tire swing was.  It still irks me that my tire swing was removed.  You know, I made the rope that I hung that with, and it was a darn good rope, and I want it back!  But really that's not the point.  I miss my tree, and my park, and the lake.  Baseline Lake is much bigger and you can go swimming in it in the summer time- that is, if you're deemed worthy to join their elite group.  And since we have not yet qualified for this honor, I can't go near it.  

I miss grass.  Long, green grass full of little aphids...and stars- I miss it being warm enough to stay outside for hours and stare at them.  I miss lying in the middle of the road wrapped in a sleeping bag in Breckenridge.  That was such a great trip...we were all together.  I want my life to be like that, just all the time.  I want to live with people, to really do life together.  

Kaylin's coming over for dinner!  She's really nice.  When we went to San Diego for Thanksgiving Break she was there.  It kind of makes me sad that none of my friends have any idea who Kaylin is.  There are so many things I would love to get in these huge discussions about, but they never come up.  And I don't want to just bring them up-

I want someone to really work to get to know me, someday.  I want them to invest the time and energy it would take and to learn for themselves the things I care about, and think about.  I want to have conversations where what we care about just naturally comes out, because we're just sort of sharing ourselves in the conversation.  That would be cool.  

Oh, if life fit into ideals.  

Strange

This blog still exists. Weird. I almost feel like one of those little babies, learning about object permanence. Just because you can't see something doesn't mean it's not there. Kind of like my history essay. Which needs to be started.

Wow. I kind of miss this.

Status Update

I really hate being sick.  I'm awfully glad I haven't had to go to school the past two days, but catchup is going to be like death.  It's so nice out and I wish I could go outside for a bike ride.  I feel like a stinking invalid.  But it has been nice to get some extra sleep.  Let me know how school was!  

Nothing

There really isn't anything to say.  What can I say?  This whole post is just going to be me trying to put together words, but failing.  Being wrong- "Linus, you're wrong!"

*half-hearted laugh*

*tear*