Quotes

"I don't have anything fantastic...like trees, or chainsaws...or chest hair..." -Matt Cawley

"Dude, did you steal a McCain sign?"
"No, it's my McCain sign! Mine!" *five minutes later* "MINE!" -Chelsea Dodson and random 11-year-old

"Trees don't have private parts...then they wouldn't be sad and fall!" -David Gaskins

"Are you a woman?! Yes! We need a woman!!!" -AJ Berge

"I will now reward you with five minutes of uninterrupted eye contact." -Steve Martin, Baby Mama

"I have to go to the bathroom..."
"Okay...if you're not back in half an hour, I'll call the cops!" -Drew Bloom and McKenzie Watson

"Wait...that's not naughty guac!" -David Gaskins