Chronicle of a life well lived

Well, here it is, the story of my life. Part of it was created by me, part of it by friends. Let me tell you, it was very fun to write :).

Chronicle of a Life Well Lived

0. Is born. (Duh)
1. Reads first book. (well, technically memorizes book, doesn't
actually read it, but that's just a technicality).
2. Moves to Colorado.
3. Actually learns to read.
4. Gains sibling.
5. Attends kindergarten.
6. Starts Irish step dance.
7. Enrolled at Pioneer Bilingual Elementary School; learns Spanish.
8. Goes to Japan.
9. Goes to Italy.
10. Starts playing viola.
11. Enrolled at Peak to Peak Charter School.
12. Starts coming out of bubble of introversion.
13. English IV Honors. What's more to be said?
14. First lead in a play.
15. Goes emo for a day and claims to be a new student – convinces everyone.
16. Unwillingly attends first school dance.
17. Wins State in Value Debate.
18. Graduates Peak to Peak and starts college.
19. Starts college.
20. Makes millions with first solo show tunes album.
21. Meets President Bush and tells him my opinion of his policies.
22. Fall in love at a friend's wedding
23. Starts dating future husband
24. Stars in Broadway Musical - Guys and Dolls
25. Stars in more Broadway stuff.
26. Drastically cuts hair for a starring cross-gender role on Broadway.
27. Actually marries said not-future-anymore husband!
28. Gets mugged while shopping in New York with Olivia and Moriah. Sues muggers.
29. Almost divorces husband, changes mind the day before signing to agreement. Husband is very happy.
30. Learns to tapdance.
31. Finds a cure for allergies.
32. Works for the CIA – discovers vital information that results in the impeachment of current president.
33. Changes name.
34. Wins Tony award on Broadway. Wins Oscar for same role.
35. Develops perfect pitch.
36. Writes autobiography.
37. Plays viola at Carnegie Hall.
38. Adopts a little girl from Ghana.
39. Learns Japanese.
40. Gets first Phd (Microbiology)
41. Discovers new species of penguin on trip to Antarctica.
42. Guest appearance on a reality-TV show
43. Suffers poisoning. Recovers.
44. Starts teaching viola.
45. Succeeds in expanding vocal range to five octaves
46. Learns to play the saxophone.
47. Takes a vow of silence for a year and fulfills it.
48. Is mysteriously given 2 billion dollars from an unknown benefactor and donates half to Amnesty International. Keeps the rest.
49. Gets sued for giving Ms. Gannett emotional damages with my rebelliousness in high school.
50. Is cleared of all charges.
51. Figures out how to make cryogenics actually work. Refuses to tell anyone else.
52. Becomes an anarchist.
53. Gets second Phd (Quantum Physics)
54. Forges the Mona Lisa and doesn’t get caught.
55. Is kidnapped by Russian Mafia.
56. Makes bold escape with the use of only a piece of string, a hot air balloon, and a field full of turnips. Refuses to explain it.
57. Kidnaps the Russian Mafia leaders back.
58. Lets Mafia leader go after he promises to change his name, move to Zimbabwe and devote the rest of his life to the preservation of exotic species of marsupials.
59. Teaches a course at CU on the epic poem Gilgamesh.
60. Admitted to a mental institution for hallucinations/mild schizophrenia.
61. Forces president to resign by bombarding him with angry letters.
62. Clones self.
63. Gets third Phd (Psychology)
64. Publishes a memoir of Boof's Lair
65. Gets sued by Mike Chilcoat (Ms. Bunting’s old plagiarist boyfriend) for trashing his name.
66. Cleared of all charges.
67. Accidentally develops breed of talking, man-eating plant. Barely avoids being eaten; kills plant by electrocution.
68. Abducted by aliens for nine months.
69. Works as a bricklayer for a year.
70. Kicks a bucket. But not the bucket.
71. Spends a year as a hermit in Madagascar.
72. Invents airplane that runs on sawdust.
73. Works as a peacock farmer.
74. Takes a year off to travel the globe barefoot.
75. Writes first book to sell over a billion copies.
76. Becomes a grandmother.
77. Wins Nobel prize for medicine.
78. Fakes death.
79. Is knighted.
80. Last acting role.
81. Survives assassination attempt.
82. Moves to Cambodia to work in Peace Corps.
83. Arrested for political demonstration in Saudi Arabia.
84. Cleared of all charges.
85. Adopts a three-legged cat.
86. Retires to Iceland.
87. Becomes oldest astronaut to fly to Mars.
88. Sponsors building of a university in Namibia.
89. Speaks only in old Latin for a year.
90. Develops rheumatism.
91. Moves in with Hannah and Mckenzie, becomes senile old lady who putters around and steals traffic cones (we then set them up to make people think there's construction going on. then we get entire lanes to ourselves)
92. Loses limb in freak gene-splicing accident.
93. Gets dentures.
94. Spends a year training fleas for flea circus.
95. Suffers nervous breakdown.
96. Gets a tattoo on sole of left foot depicting the British Isles.
97. Writes will.
98. Rheumatism mysteriously disappears. Climbs Mount Everest.
99. Takes a senior trip to Hawaii. Dies when a coconut falls on head.